Today as I was teaching, I had to endure this conversation:

Me: I don't know if "perfect" is the correct word to use in this context. (The student had written something like, "Using the prewriting process will help you write a better essay." I already commented on use of the second person pronoun, but that seemed to go way over the student's head.)
Student 1: Why not?
Me: Well, it's kind of a logical fallacy. (Blank stare.) Nothing's really perfect anyway.
Student 2: Jesus is.
Me: ... (What I wanted to say was, "No, sorry. Jesus wasn't perfect, in the sense that a fictional character cannot be perfect. In order to be perfect, he would have had to exist in the first place.")
Student 1: Yeah, that's right.
Student 3: Well, Jesus wasn't really perfect.
Me: ... (Again, what I wanted to say was, "Even if Jesus did exist, he may have killed another child when he was a boy. Oh, and he got super pissed at the money changers in the temple. And he asked God to "let this cup pass from my lips" or something along those lines, before he was crucified.)
Student 2: Yes, he was. He was, like, the son of God. (I could hear the capital letter.)
Student 3: But he was just a man when he died, like everyone else.
Student 1: I think Jesus was perfect.
Me: I still think you should revise that sentence. (What I really wanted to say was, "You should really revise that sentence.)
Student 1: What should I change it to?
Me: (eye-roll) Get a thesaurus. (What I meant: "I'm done with this fucking conversation.")
Student 2: Jesus...
Me: (interrupting) Don't you have your own work to do?
All: (Silence.)

Brainwashed little monsters. They say they believe in Jesus because their parents believe in Jesus, but neither them or their parents know as much about Jesus or the Bible as I do, and I don't even believe. If they knew more, would they still believe? Or are they just willing to swallow any load of shit that's shoveled into their mouths? And if they really do believe, shouldn't they be nicer to me and their peers? That's what gets me about organized religion: the hypocrisy. Say one thing, do another. It's all a joke. I'm converting to polytheism. From now on, my god of choice is Bacchus/Dionysus.